From Nursery Teacher to Therapeutic Foster Carer, Fostering insights with Tracey

At Olive Branch Fostering, there are many different types of fostering to cater for the different needs of children coming into care. One of the special types of fostering is Therapeutic Led Fostering.

Sometimes considered the most challenging type of foster care, our therapeutic-led care is built on intense training, which empowers the foster carer to feel confident when dealing with the most complex demands of the role. These children may have suffered trauma, abuse, and neglect and bring to the placement a wealth of behavioural and psychological challenges that can be difficult to break through.

We recently spoke to one of our Therapeutic Foster Carers, Tracey, to find out more about her experience as a foster carer…

Can you please tell us a little bit about yourself?

My name is Tracey, and I live with my husband, who I’ve been with for 32 years, and my two foster children. I also have two grown-up biological children. I’ve been fostering for eight years, and I’ve been a Therapeutic Foster Carer for about a year. Prior to becoming a foster carer, I previously owned and managed a children’s nursery.

What made you become a foster carer?

My children leaving home! I found myself with spare bedrooms and so much love.

I’ve always worked with children, so I already had a lot of transferable skills. I enjoyed working in the nursery, but I liked the fact that being a foster carer means you can really make a difference to a child, as they’re with you day and night.

I decided to step down from the nursery while going through the fostering application process. I needed a change, and I knew I could help more.

How many children do you foster currently?

I foster two children at the moment.

Why therapeutic-led fostering?

Three years ago, three siblings came to me, and we recognised that one needed slightly more support. That’s when our Therapeutic Leader at Olive Branch, stepped in. Therapeutic Fostering is a very different style of caring. For example, instead of saying no to a child, you would adapt your words to something like ‘I would not like you to do that’. It’s all about phrasing things in a positive way, to better support a child in trauma. That’s where our Therapeutic Leader helps me out a lot. I use the therapeutic care style for all my foster children now. Our Therapeutic Leader has been superb.

Can you tell us about some of the unique skills you need to become a therapeutic foster carer?

You need to have lots of love, as well as being very calm and understanding.

It’s important to try and put yourself in that child’s shoes when they’re in fight or flight mode. In particular, foster carers need to try and be calm and relaxed. My husband and I work well together, which helps. We’re like a tag team. Fostering can be 24 hours a day, and it can be tiring, so we make sure to give each other time for a cup of tea or a bath. Fostering is very rewarding, even though it’s tiring.

It’s best to try and have a structured lifestyle and a good routine. If you veer out of the routine then try to tell the children, so it doesn’t send them into overload. Be clear and precise on what’s happening and when. For example, if someone new is coming to the house, you could show the children a picture, so they know who to expect. We do a lot of picture work, like putting pictures on the fridge so they know what they’re having for dinner.

What does a typical day look like for you as a foster carer?

Mornings are very fast-moving. I’m up at 6am, and I hit the floor running. There’s no time for chilling out because it’s straight downstairs. I get the kids ready for school, drop them off, and then I have meetings. Therapeutic foster carers need a lot more involvement with social workers and support groups. Support workers also come in to spend an hour with the children and check in with them. In the afternoon, I pick the children up from school. The minute they see you, it’s time for biscuits, juice, and playing in the park. We always spend a good hour trampolining on the park, dog walking, or cycling to get their energy out. On Sundays, the children get to decide what we have for tea, but everything is structured, including bedtime.

What are some challenges you may face as a new foster carer?

Sticking to boundaries can be a challenge. It’s good to get to know the foster child first, and then try to create clear rules. For example, if you say bedtime is at 8pm, then try to stick to that, so it’s not confusing. You can always start with lots of rules and reduce them later, but it’s much harder to start with none and then suddenly introduce them. We have house rules, or ‘ground rules’, on a big board for the children to see. 

What has been your favourite memory as a foster carer?

When you’re caring for a traumatised child, even just a hug can mean a lot. These children don’t always have good memories, so everything we do is a memory. At the end of every week, we like to talk about our favourite memories from that week. We keep in contact with every foster child we’ve cared for.

What has your time been like with Olive Branch Fostering?

It’s been a great experience. The support is there, and it’s good to know you don’t have to do it on your own. If you need support, then speak to your social worker. I’ve got an amazing social worker, and I’ve always had very good social workers with Olive Branch. If you’ve had a bad day, then you can tell them, and they will send a support worker or increase your meetings to make sure you’re okay.

The Olive Branch team are brilliant at supporting foster carers.

Do you have any advice for anyone considering fostering?

Do it, but don’t do it with the expectation that it’s going to be easy. There will be rough patches, but just ride them out because these children need all the love and support, they can get. You have to earn their trust, which can be difficult when they’ve been through rough times, but stick with it.

What do you do in your spare time?

I believe it’s important to make time for yourself. I like going to the theatre, gardening, and decorating. Every once in a while, my husband and I will go out for a meal together.

Any final words?

If you’ve got love in your heart to keep a child safe and show them that not everyone is nasty, you could change that person forever.

Being a foster carer is a great career, but we don’t see it as a job. This is our family.

Could you open your heart and home to a child who needs a fresh start and a safe space to call home?

Get in touch to find out more.